1. Zero
The last fifteen years I have been going round in circles. Starting small, building up, 3 to 5 times or more, then get hit and back to square one or worst. Ending up with nothing, a big fat zero. Starting the cycle again and again. Thinking that I can make it. Round and round, a merry-go-round. Always ending up in the same place. A spiral down. July 2019 to January 2020, a super bull run. I could see it. It was so easy. Yet, somehow I couldn't do it. A thunderbolt struck. The realisation that I cannot do it anymore. My whole world collapse. More than 33 years wasted. Mentally exhausted and Psychologically damaged.